Letters from the Cave

Deep inside the dungeon of Sukhumvit Soi, I write sprawled out in the spread eagle-position...

Life is good, learning a bit of the language and some of the traditional cooking as well. It is nice learning the language because I got a jump start knowing that "motorcycle" is the same in both english and Thai. There are only about 4 words that are the same in the comparing languages, but its fair to say that I know those four really well. I have tried to make complete sentences out of the 4 nouns with no luck. Its funny when speaking with some of the models who are working out here, they have all gathered the essentials of the language(thank you, hi, how much) and don't care to much to venture past that. Then, like a typical well-versed model, amaze me with "Its soo hard" when asked why they don't learn the language. They always say it as if its some kind of position that no one has ever taken before. Its real nice to be in the class after not being in school for over 5 years, 5 years!! It's been a while since having to wake up early, call someone teacher, or text in my pocket..its certainly a fun challenge learning the peculiar language. It is far more advanced than English, in many ways...but then decades behind in other ways. It is a tonal language, there are 5 tones(mid, low, falling, high, rising). Each word has one of the 5 tones, if you say high instead of rising it may mean calling your grandma a horse. It is incredibly difficult to learn this portion of it since it has hundreds of sounds that are not in any of the westernized languages...but the grammar of the language is amazingly simple, far more than that of English or Spanish. No past tense or present tense or real sentence structure.

So now I am here, I had to run home for an hour while the maid handles business and cleans up all my hair off the tile floor of the condo...now that I have a white tile floor I realize how much hair I lose on a daily basis, I am constantly sweeping hair into the garbage(under the fridge) and wondering why I never noticed this loss of hair. They say the average person loses about 80 strands per week...thats a lot of hair! I suppose we have millions of hair follicles and I have never taken the time to actually count the hair on the tile, but I am guessing that I am well above the average human. I am now 23 and my mother and her father lost hair at an early age, so I suppose it is now aroundabout my time to start losing my hair...so like a convict ordering steak on his last meal, I am letting it grow out real long for my remaining years of follicle stardum. Its hard for a man to face such a fact, even harder when you are sweeping up yesterday's treasures as you are losing them...no sooner have they been swept away under the stove then they are falling from your head. Maybe something about the heat and humidity makes them fall faster, or maybe grow faster too? I figure vegetation and fruits grow faster and healthier in humid climates, why not my hair follicles? Well maybe because they are already dead when they come out of my skull...could be one hypothesis...that or maybe tile increases the speed of hair loss in men. Regardless of what it is, its an exciting part of my day to see the hair on the ground, lets me know that another day has passed. I would take the rogaines or hair loss serums, but its a bit more fun to have something to wake up and be bitter about. Kind of like when you offer something to someone and they suggest their choice, and you dont like it...but then feel bad when you express that you dont like it and give them the chance to pursue their choice, but they are now even more bitter and immature than you so refuse your chance.
"Where would you rather go eat, Taco Bell or Wendys?"...
"Id love to go to Wendys!" ...
"Oh man, well I was hoping youd say Taco Bell....can we go there instead" ...
"You gave me the choice! Whyd you even ask!? Fine, Taco Bell...UGH!" ...
"OK OK OK we can go to Wendys,,sorry!" ..
"Nope, thats fine....Taco Bell"