How not to get a massage, by Nick Lozito

The definition of "massage" miraculously changes after 10pm. Careful, you may have to run. "Mista mista, wait!"

Almost all the way unpacked out here, still a couple of nicknacs to put away and some minor tweaking. Maybe I will hit the street and find a street vendor turned interior decorator to fill the void in this "bachelor pad". I went and did some more shopping today, opened a bank account, bought a bunch of pillows, swam in the pool, and went to 4 fitness centers to find my preference.

Salespeople can really get on your nerves sometimes; now I understand how people fe;t when I would try to sell them anything/everything. I would walk in each gym and just ask for the prices; then I would be brought water, handed a seat and paperwork and giving the vulnerablewhitepersonwholooksrichfromoutoftown-tour. Needless to say, I am now a member at four gyms and am afraid to see the faces on the salesgirl once I say I changed my mind. haha, no . Other than that I am goign to hit the World's Largest Outdoor Market tomorrow, Jatujak. This place is incredible. It is kind of like a giant wal mart, but with all really nice stuff and no H&R Block. It has over 10,000 stalls and is broken into sections: home goods, furniture, clothing...hell you could probably buy someone if you look hard enough. The joy of the market, like most things here in Thailand, is that the vendor you are speaking with most likely made the item you are inquiring about...so there is always room to bargain and they are as desperate for money as you are for a 6 foot wood elephant with blue eyes and a smile(that means they need money really bad). The rule is to ask for HALF of whatever their initial offer is...its tough but its fun, and it doesnt offend the seller. I have been offered an item for 80 dollars, ended up buying it for 15. These are quality items too, go to Pier One and you will see "Made in Thailand" on a lot of the items. Plus oriental design is great in itself anyway.

Being monsoon season, today there was a crazy flashflood. It was very nice and sunny one minute, then two minutes later you could not see in front of you face because of the craziness of the rain. Its very common around this year they say, but it still certainly takes you by surprise...especially when on a motorcyle drinking tangerine juice. damn.

Other than that, my jetlag is starting to wear off and things are starting to settle themselves out, so come Monday I will hit the streets and get to work. Hopefully everything out in Obamaland is good and well.

Checkmate